Being a Mom is HARD

     Being a Mom is HARD.  Before I became one I thought, "I'm going to be awesome at this, I'm going to be a veritable SuperMom."  I pictured myself having a home made meal on the table at 6:30 every night, the laundry always folded and put away promptly and house neat and tidy, only allowing my children one hour of public television a day, never spanking or yelling at them and constantly having a fun craft or project to do with them...  So far, there is much left to be desired.
     Being a stay-at-home Mom, one would think these things would be easy, and with only 2 kids (my husband and I want 5); but most days I barely eat a decent meal myself and I stuff my 2 year old with fruit/veggie puree pouches, milk and crackers.  My 6 month old is the only one who eats a balanced diet, which I initially pictured coming from home made purees, but alas, most days comes from a jar.  Getting the laundry done for just 4 people is only done maybe twice a month and it's usually 2 weeks before it gets to the drawers and closets.  Most days, to keep my 2 year old out of my hair while I'm either feeding the baby or preparing for or cleaning up after a dismal meal, I turn on (or allow him to turn on) the television.  He only watches Disney Jr or PBS and maybe the occasional Disney movie (Cars 2 more often than not) but his television watching usually does exceed an hour.  Discipline too has ended up much different than how I expected I would handle it.  I knew I would be the "bad guy" and end up doling out most of the punishment, my husband has a very laid back attitude and I never expected him to care as much about providing disciplinary structure for our kids, but on many an occasion I have resorted to shouting at my toddler (who really doesn't know any better yet) and sometimes even spanking (when he does know better).  He is a VERY independent little boy, which made him a very easy baby but a much more difficult toddler after turning 1 over a year ago.  I do my fair share of crafts and projects, but they have yet to include the kids (other than the week long photo session we did to make their Grandparents calendars as Christmas gifts) nor do they get finished or cleaned up most of the time.
     I often wonder if all of this makes me lazy.  I never think that I'm a bad mother because I still take care of my family so that they are happy, healthy, growing and learning, but did I have unrealistic expectations of how motherhood would be or how I would handle it?  I always felt like my mother had it all together, I mean, she was a mother of 5 who also ran an in-home daycare for 10 years!  But maybe she only seemed like "SuperMom" to me because I was a happy child who had everything I needed.  I guess I can only hope that my children never see my short comings and always see me as the type of mother I imagined I would be. For now, I will simply strive to be better in all the ways I feel I am lacking while making sure to provide a happy and healthy home for my sons (and potential future daughters) because Lord knows I have many more years and adventures coming on my "Quest for SuperMom Status".